Pretty Hot and Tempting, and Over Pasta.

The fact is they lied to you. They told you, “Don’t cook with saturated fat, try browning your lean, tasteless meat in this Lipitor instead.” Well I will have you know that saturated fat is more stable and therefore is less likely to oxidize, become plaque, and clog your [almost useless anyway, since you never get outside anymore] arteries. You find me one doctor who can actually explain how the opposite is true and I will find you someone with a measurable IQ who thinks the Twilight series is of any value to anybody. The truth is you cannot and I cannot. We both cannot.

I made ground meat and noodles with ground buffalo. The problem is, buffalo is too lean. You actually need fat to process protein. So, I made it healthy by browning the meat in a ton of butter, adding a healthy portion of olive oil to the sauce, and adding one (or maybe two) fat filled avocados to the mix. I find it better to not actually count avocados, as counting only inhibits you eating more of them.

Isn’t heath food such a drag? The fact that I must suffer such a tasteful dish in the name of my body – it just doesn’t seem right.

Now I must finish drinking my wine from a rocks glass; but, before I go, I will leave you with some of Lipitor’s awesome benefits (according to Lipitor’s own web site), in case you are considering enjoying some over-cooked white meat with a side of atorvastatin:

These serious side effects include:

• Muscle problems. LIPITOR can cause serious muscle problems that can lead to kidney problems, including kidney failure. You have a higher chance for muscle problems if you are taking certain other medicines with LIPITOR
• Liver problems. LIPITOR can cause liver problems. Your doctor may do blood tests to check your liver before you start taking LIPITOR, and while you take it

Call your doctor right away if:

• You have muscle problems like weakness, tenderness, or pain that happen without a good reason, especially if you also have a fever or feel more tired than usual
• You have allergic reactions including swelling of the face, lips, tongue, and/or throat that may cause difficulty in breathing or swallowing, which may require treatment right away
• You experience nausea and vomiting
• You pass brown or dark-colored urine
• You feel more tired than usual
• Your skin and whites of your eyes get yellow
• You have stomach pain
• You have an allergic skin reaction

In clinical studies, patients reported the following common side effects while taking LIPITOR:

• Diarrhea
• Upset stomach
• Muscle and joint pain
• Alterations in some laboratory tests

The following additional side effects have been reported with LIPITOR:

• Tiredness
• Tendon problems

Talk to your doctor or pharmacist if you have side effects that bother you or that will not go away. These are not all the side effects of LIPITOR. Ask your doctor or pharmacist for a complete list.

Before You Start LIPITOR

Tell your doctor if you:

• Have muscle aches or weakness
• Drink more than 2 glasses of alcohol daily
• Have diabetes
• Have a thyroid problem
• Have kidney problems

Some medicines should not be taken with LIPITOR. Tell your doctor about all the medicines you take, including:

• Prescription and nonprescription medicines
• Vitamins
• Herbal supplements

LIPITOR and certain other medicines can interact causing serious side effects. Tell your doctor if you are taking any medicines, especially those for:

• Your immune system
• Cholesterol
• Infections
• Birth control
• Heart failure

• HIV or AIDS

P.S. An official study by a man with a clipboard, in a long white coat, with a name tag showed that people who thought Twilight was a legitimate novel had, on average, IQ's whose squares were smaller than the IQ itself. Hmm.