Sometimes the Road Less Traveled is Less Traveled Because It is Ridiculous.

I am now in Colorado. I was not always in Colorado. After graduating high school (in Philadelphia), like most 18 year-olds, I decided it best that I should drop out of college after only a year. After all, I did co-start a sweet production company (who, at that point, was moving from filming Mr. and newly Mrs. Hissurname, to grand productions such as Cairnwood: A Home in the Country). I also had acquired a bitchin’ Camaro Z28. Living this big, I saw no need to complete a degree in Bible.

I then had a falling out with the co-founder my production company, so I left the prestigious world of producing aimless documentaries for non-profits who had acquired too much money in the form of a grant with a soon expiring “use by” date. From there, I made a move in a similar direction – I enrolled in a tech school for exercise science and nutrition.

This led me to teach at the same tech school, helping me realize that all I wanted to do was teach adults. Before returning to school in this aim, I managed a fitness facility and worked as a private holistic nutrition consultant. But, after more than two years there I had roughly this conversation with the club’s owner.

Me: “Hi.”

Him: “You want to go to school, so I am hiring another trainer and you will no

longer be the manager of my struggling club. His name is DeeJay.”

Me: “D.J.?”

Him: “No DeeJay.”

Me: “He sounds stupid. You probably shouldn’t hire him.”

Him: “He is bigger and blacker than you, so he will actually form a client base.”

Me: “You have a point.”

He had a point. I’m rubbish as a trainer. While I have made it my job to learn everything there is to know about fitness, wellness, nutrition, and coconut products, I still have the body of an Olympic, female gymnast (narrow shoulders, small breasts, and a rather large butt). So I did what anyone else would have done – I enrolled at my community college as a mathematics major; using my secret knowledge of all things fitness to argue with, and later befriend, the guy running the fitness facility at aforementioned community college.

While finishing my associates in the maths, I have worked as a Division I strength coach, a bar back, a stock boy, a private video producer (to magicians and web-based RA training resource companies the like). Now, I have transferred to Colorado State University and I need a job.

So . . . If any of you happen to know of any jobs in video, fitness, nutrition, alcohol-based relaxation, or at a supermarket let me know.