It's not easy being the obstreperous one

An abridged list of places where Dave has gotten free food since moving:

1) An aerobics room on campus -- There was a burrito welcome dinner for new and transfer students.

2) A church -- I got a loaf of bread for attending a church for the first time.

3) Chipotle -- Went in looking for coffee, left with a free burrito. 

4) The International House -- Tacos were served during this "fiesta" thrown for those residents of the Lory apartments (where I live) and of the International House (where international students live).

I realize that I have spent most nights sitting in the chapter chair, sipping wine from my rocks glass, reading . . . alone.  I look back at my posts.  Most of them rave about avocados -- friggin' avocados!  Who blogs about avocados?  People who spend most nights sitting in a chapter chair, sipping wine from their rocks glass, reading alone, that's who! Realizing this, I have attended a few events in the hope of meeting people.

First, I attended a dinner welcoming new and transfer students.  At this event I had the pleasure of sitting across from a kid who liked to concatenate ". . . that reminds me of this time that I was at a strip club . . ." to my table's conversation.  To be honest, it seemed to me that his apparent age would not have allowed him to have any strip club stories.  Perhaps he confused his pediatrician's office for a strip club.  Needless to say, I left that event prematurely or, rather, maturely.

I also attended a church for the first time (since the move).  The problem with me and churches is my judgmental, 14 years of Christian education enabled, learned pretense.  There was a battle in my head that went something like this:

Me: "Ugh, topical preaching?  Really?  What, are we in 3rd grade Sunday school again?"
 

I: "C'mon, they seem to be a good Bible believing church.  Give it a chance, so the pastor hasn't learned the power of good exegetical preaching yet."
 

Me: ". . . and white bread? Wouldn't Jesus want this temple to only ingest whole wheat?"
 

I: "OK Me, now that is just petty."

 

 I then attended CSU's "CRU" meeting.  Afterward everyone went to Coldstone Creamery.  Despite the fact that I try to not eat added sugar, I went in the hope of meeting people or, at minimum, a person.  To not be left out in the consumption part of this ice-cream fellowship, I went next door to Chipotle, praying that they had coffee.  When I came back to Coldstone with my free burrito, I realized how old I was compared to everyone else there. While I will most likely attend "CRU" again, the cause for future deep conversion will probably be lost.

Finally (tonight), I went to an event for apartment residents.  In line for food I met Ahmad.  While still in line he indicated that he would be my friend.  I tried to not get too excited, this was my best lead to date.  I sat with him to eat.  It just so happens that he was sitting across from a group of Christians -- Christians who apparently go to a church with exegetical preaching; Christians who invited me to go see "The Book of Eli" with them (yes, Mike, two movies in the same year!); Christians who would later come to my apartment and finally use all those coasters I lovingly made from old CDs and cardboard.  While Ahmad may be Muslim, he was totally used by Jesus.  Sorry Ahmad.

We all sat around my underused coffee table and sipped wine from rocks glasses and coffee mugs.  We even shared a couple of avocados!  (OK, so I even blog about avocados now that I have met people.  We all know that I have some serious problems.)

Wait, now I remember why I don't want friends . . . 

Ugh, do I really have to go out tomorrow for more wine and avocados?